day thirty-one (and Goals for August)

Yesterday I did and ate everything I was supposed to do and eat. I woke up early, exercised, went to the library, applied to a few jobs in person and online, and slept before midnight because I wanted to start the month right. The weather’s been gloomy today and I love it. I keep looking outside like, what is this gray weather? Like everything these days, I think it’s for me; a sign.

I got a call an hour ago about starting training at this poke place 10 minutes away. Yay. My August goal was reached. Fuck you boba spot. Instead of living off your sugary drinks, I’ll be living off deconstructed sushi.

My goals for this month:
1. Sort out DMV things
2. Put together a care/birthday package for Jayden (and mom)
3. Only eat out on weekends (spend less $$$ in process)
4. Keep track of spending
5. Keep a job or two
6. Drink more water
7. Take my creative pursuits seriously (meet people) (write essays) (write specs)
8. Read every day
9. Exercise every weekday
10. Understand the geography of L.A.

When I was majorly depressed, I put up sticky notes around my room reminding myself that I was a “nice, smart, funny, kind, and caring” person. These were the words that got me through the daily grind. I miss the good times with my grandma. I don’t miss the bad times. I wonder what she would think of everything. If she were in good health and alive, how would things be? Would I be here? Would I be doing better or worse? In a parallel universe I have Facetimed her to show off my place and she says, “Cũng được…”


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